Birthday Blues

By Ronan Groome

Finally 20 years of age. ‘Whoop Whoop’, as the fella would say. Wait no, the fella would most certainly not say that. A little girl would probably say that in reaction to her favourite TV programme coming on. Who is the fella anyway? I reckon, an old timer who drinks day in day out from 12 o’clock in the local and mutters well-known phrases every now and then. I was in a pub the other day and the garbage on offer between the three men sitting at the bar was priceless. It’s free comedy. If ever you are in town and need to pass the time, find the most run-down, dirty-looking, pure Irish pub on offer, go in and buy yourself a coke, sit down and listen to the show.

The sound of saying the word 20 really makes you sound old, well when you were previously 19 it does. I am 20. New found respect right there. But apart from the annual drunken celebration that took place on Saturday night, even embraced by two of my Dundalk chums making a rare appearance in Navan, it really was a pretty bad weekend. The morning after, while dropping another chum from Drogheda home, a taxi-driver thought it was necessary to ram into the back of my car, causing my CD cases to get broken, my radio to fall out, a huge dent in the back of my poor ‘Sheila’- the name of my car- and said chum’s breakfast roll to go flying all over the window. I got out of the car seeking an explanation but was greeted with a mere shoulder-shrug. Sorry mate, you drive around all day for a living, yet you flew into the back of me at 80 km/h, I was the only car you could see, stopped at a traffic light clearly red and you had about 200 metres to slow down. You are going to have to do better than a shoulder-shrug.

Probably should have quit while I was ahead and just retired back to bed. But I was determined to go and cheer myself up and what better way to do this than to gamble? Couldn’t just watch a film or something no?

I was looking forward to backing Meeznah in the Irish Oaks for a while. It had taken ages for my money to come out of my Paddy Power account from last week’s winnings. And of course, as soon as it did, the first assignment was to invest some of it back in. I had got €25 each-way at 5/1 on David Lanigan’s filly already, and repeated the same bet again a half an hour before the race. She surely would appreciate the Curragh better than Epsom and although the ground was a worry, that was the case for most of the market leaders. Rounding the turn, I knew she wouldn’t win, but getting my money back should have been a formality. The 33/1 shot Miss Jean Brodie and 66/1 shot Lady Lupus were the only ones in contention for the minor placings, but Meeznah could not get up for third and the car-crash feeling I experienced earlier came back.

The GAA wasn’t going much better, I was on Monaghan at 6/4 but they were simply outclassed by the red-hand men and then Sligo were beaten by Roscommon which simply should not happen. Please, someone explain how this happened? Please. Roscommon are dismal, Sligo are surely a much better team. If the all-blacks had won, they would be one game away from an All-Ireland semi-final, and one game away from a suitable lay-off proposition for the 250/1 wager I had on them earlier in the season. But no, that spot goes to Roscommon, what a waste. Sligo now need to win two games, starting with Down next week and that will not be easy.

The other parts of the qualifier draw were interesting. Louth getting Dublin, that is surely the tie of the round. I really hope the Louth team can go and get themselves some compensation. They have every chance against a fairly average Dublin side. A win over the Dubs would not make up for their final heartache but it would be fairly sweet. I will be backing them at 3/1 anyway.

As for my other All-Ireland outright bets, Kildare, €7.50 each-way at 40/1, are going well and I think they can take Monaghan next week. And my own 50/1-Meath are waiting in the quarter finals.

The rest of my Sunday evening was tied up with the World Match play Darts, which had started on Saturday night. When you start putting €20 and €30 accumulators on Darts, it is time to sit back and take a look at yourself. I won a grand last week, it is quickly disappearing and some priorities have to be sorted out. I saw Toy Story 3 last night. It’s a great film and a must-see for anyone. Once again, why can’t I just watch films for fun?

By Ronan Groome